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Helga Montana
08 May 2006 @ 01:06 pm
Female serial killers, starting with the most infamous:

Erzsébet Báthory aka The Blood Countess

Or Elizabeth Báthory-- Hungarian Countess and niece of Stephen Báthory (king of Poland) carried out her reign of terror in the 16th century, murdering and bathing in the blood of some 650 young women. Femicide!

"..she viciously struck a servant girl for a minor oversight, she drew blood when her pointed nails raked the girl's cheek. The wound was serious enough that some of the blood got onto Elizabeth's skin. Later, Elizabeth was quite sure that that part of her own body - where the girl's blood had dropped - looked fresher somehow; younger, brighter and more pliant."

She then consulted with a witch or an alchemist and she was informed that once (a long long time ago and in a place far far away), "the blood of a young virgin had caused a similar effect on an aged personage of nobility and good grace".

In the name of beauty, youth, and angelic Ponds-like complexion, she then commanded other servants to kill the servant girl and drain her body of blood so she could bathe in it. So begins the addiction to blood baths and blood showers (she had spikes that would grind girls over her, thus, a blood shower).

Doo doo doo doo doo.

I'm a lot saner than girlfriend, so I've resolved to getting more sleep and drinking more water (BUT I don't think that's possible-- if I up my water intake, the sodium in my brain might start dissolving) because my skin is just U.G.L.Y. these days. And I'm seriously contemplating on signing up with Fitness First for their Nike Rockstar and belly dancing classes. I mean, it's only 2k a month and five minutes away from the office.

PS: Brazilectro is just right for these hot summer days. If only I were at the beach. I'm using 'were' now, depicting the impossible. If only I were Jennifer Lopez; she wishes she were Queen of Monaco; if only the moon were made of green cheese. Helga wishes she were at the beach.
Current Mood: hothot
Current Music: I'm Running To You, Justin & Janice
Helga Montana
01 May 2006 @ 04:45 pm

roel_kulit: why not selloutgirl?
yourtutuisaskew: because im sick of selloutgirl
yourtutuisaskew: do you like selloutgirl, ba?
yourtutuisaskew: im the only person i know who has ever liked selloutgirl
roel_kulit: hrm, it's not really a question of liking. I thought Greenday SUCKED as a name for a rock band when I first heard about them, and hell now I love them to death
yourtutuisaskew: WHAT
roel_kulit: it's not the name, it's getting used to it, and i'm used to selloutgirl, hell probably everyone is
yourtutuisaskew: so
yourtutuisaskew: selloutgirl sucks for a name, but you like it now
yourtutuisaskew: or sometjign
roel_kulit: erm
roel_kulit: no
roel_kulit: okay, sorry
roel_kulit: wrong analogy I guess
yourtutuisaskew: you dont like it!
roel_kulit: hee
roel_kulit: I do!
roel_kulit: anokaba??
roel_kulit: I just practiced what is usually known as putting your foot in your mouth


I am aware of the horrid couch.


I have this weekend off (YA KNOW, LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE DO) and I'm planning on hitting the beach. Galera, anyone? I bought tanning oil last Saturday, I'm prepared.

That is, if TITAN's summer trip ISN'T this weekend. We all know how eTelecare has a knack for ruining my life plans.
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: The Lying Lies & Dirty Secrets of..., Coheed and Cambria
Helga Montana
14 March 2006 @ 02:40 am

And I sincerely hope we're not off to eat. AGAIN.

Current Mood: shockedshocked
Helga Montana
10 March 2006 @ 10:24 am
What's up, I need to be in school at 3pm and I still haven't slept.

Anyway. I went a-digging for the oldest, most awkward pre-pubescent photo/s of me that I could find. Except I couldn't find ANY, and I don't have a scanner.

So I had to settle for the oldest pre-college photo. I was planning on a then-and-now sort of thing, to show how wonderfully I've aged-- an upgrade, if you may. Hahaha, well, that didn't work out quite well.

This is me, pre-college. Naturally, I'm the one with her bra strap peeking through her top. 16-year old hussy in-the-making in the hizzouze.

Okay, now THIS! IS! THE! AWKWARDEST! AND! UGLIEST! PHOTO! OF! ME! I could find. And you know what's so sad? I was 17 AND well into college. Check out the half-German dude beside me. Yeah, he broke my heart-zorz, I think.

I know I'm cheating cos I'm supposed to post embarrassingly PRE-college photos and I've only managed to cough one up. Anyway, this is one of my favoritest photos of me, and I'm aware that I look positively idiotic. But I love it. I was 18, it was CLEM's 18th birthday party at City Jam, I was braless, and do you wanna know how drunk I got? I was running after Clem outside the bar, barefoot and screaming "titi! titi!" at her.

Absolutely the most useless photo to post, you must be thinking. But no. Check out what I'm wearing. A medal. Yeah, you got me, I posted this to announce that I'm a WNCAA medalist, but I'm just making that seem like it's something worth being proud of, when really, it's not, cos hahahahahaha that's a relay medal we're wearing.

But anyway, I'm the girl with the red halo, and it is BEYOND me why I ever wore that skirt or why my legs are bent, cowboy-style. Oh yeah, really bad thong wedges. NEVER. AGAIN.

I used to have a pretty cute and controlled smile, though:

I swear, I don't know how I used to do it. I used to be able to smile and not look like a female Hen Lin. Now, my cheeks and teeth are all over the place and I only end up feeling bad ABOUT SMILING, my god, is that even possible TO NOT WANT TO SMILE???

You know what would be awesome? Anorexia Nervosa.

AND NOW FOR THE "THIS IS ME... NOW" (omgz, J-to-the-L-O) PHOTO:

Oh yeah, I've come a long way.
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: Homesick, Kings of Convenience
Helga Montana
06 March 2006 @ 04:08 pm

I asked Darcie and Cindy to resize that photo for me, until I noticed I looked Emily Rose-ic, rawr!

I will take the time out to throw ROEL "Don't need sleep. Immortal. Invincincible." Femolipe a threat: if you don't e-mail me those photos I took of me, I will cry. I swear I will!

So Tagaytay Saturday-Sunday was, in RABI's words, just like a dream: it was so fun, and it happened so fast. My legs never felt so good when I got home to the dorm and crawled under my blanket. Yeah, I'm an idiot for going to Tagaytay in a miniskirt and pumps. But listen! It's because NONE of my jeans fit me. It's so tragic like that-- my only option was a miniskirt that used to fall dangerously off my hips when I was a hundred and five pounds.

Funny how Roel and I planned this at 7pm on a Saturday night over YM and even funnier that we ACTUALLY MADE IT THERE, as Roel did say: knowing us, we'd probably get distracted and end up somewhere else. Case in point: Rabi, with her hands and face against the car window screaming "BAKIT MAY FERRIS WHEEL??? *pause* EUROSTAR!!!" when we passed The Fort. Plus, we took a while roaming the aisles of Cost U Less, only to end up with a huge bag of fish crackers and bottle of cheap red wine. But once we hit the Santa Rosa exit and all five of us started belting out SANTA ROOOOSAAAAAAAA!!! HERE WE COOOOOME!!! to the tune of Phantom Planet's California-- yay, we made it, happy dance.

What's next, Batangas? =D


I haven't slept since Sunday early evening. We had a movie marathon last night that ended at 5am: Don't Say A Word, Blow, Omen IV, and The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

So it's 4 in the afternoon and Emily Rose's bodily and facial contortions are still playing in my head. And I'm supposed to be the one who manages to make all movies fall into one genre (comedy, of course). Bokbokbokbok-tokok!
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Time Is Ticking Out, The Cranberries
Helga Montana
04 March 2006 @ 07:58 pm
It's just one of those Saturday nights when you feel like breaking all previously made plans for something else.

Tonight, I don't feel like staying in the city. Of course, the smartest option would be to park my ass in our Antipolo house, where I am right now. But where's the excitement there, right???

Adventure spillover, we need some weekend magic. I imagine gin bottles and slurpee cups and singing along to happy music while shivering in a light jacket. Yay, Tagaytay tonight!

Woot, the girls and boys are all game!

(Yeah yeah, I just chickened out. I was thisclose to booking a Cebu trip for October and I chickened out. So.. COMPENSATE!)
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Heaven, Late Night Alumni
Helga Montana
03 March 2006 @ 05:33 am
I'm in so much pain, I'm tempted to run to my mom next-room and ask her to hug me.

And now I flood your monitors with photos. I've never been one to LJ cut my face.

This is my currently most-used I'm-not-going-climbing-today bag. Totally unrelated: I had a hard time taking that photo. Appreciate.

A-ha. I bring to you the contents of my bag on any given non-school, non-climbing, oh-I'm-just-going-out-to-twiddle-my-thumbs day.

o1. a bottle of rubbing alcohol
o2. a bottle of green tea mist ♥
o3. my kikay kit
o4. double-sided tape
o5. whatever current book I'm reading or re-reading
o6. my heart-shaped keychain and my keys
o7. the cutest wallet in the world
o8. my lighter
o9. Shnoo-Doo
10. my Starbucks planner and a pen
11. my school ID
12. a pack of cigs

Notice the lack of a hairbrush. I've been putting my hair up in a ponytail these past few weeks that I don't see the need to bring a brush with me. It sucks.

Oh. Did I ever tell you people about that time I broke two toothbrushes two days within each other? No? Well, that's Toothbrush #2. Lovely.

So yeah, that was who I was last Saturday night. Oh, the memories. Dot.

I'm putting this here to serve me a lesson: I should stop making stupid faces at the camera. What a waste.

Anti-social ambassadors. Congo-Switzerland relations, if you may.

And that's me molesting Congo's little brother.

Say hi to the bruise on my knee. I have three other bruises, I is leukemic!

I survived Nature's Camp Wednesday! My harness did not snap, I did not fall off any walls; I also found myself shivering in my bikini while the rain fell lightly around and on us. AWESOME! CLEM was being a retard over the pythons, it was sooo funny, hahahaha.

Unfortunately, we did not have a camera. Everyone just assumed that I'd have my camera with me and.. well, I didn't have batteries.

And I ended up going to the 80-est party at Bigsky. But how boring, I wasn't in 80s garb because I went there right after Nature's Camp. I didn't even bother showering, I just washed my face and spritzed on some olive oil. Yakkkkk haha. Awesome awesome night with JAREK, ALLAH, Aa, Rech (yes, we're friends again) and 80s music. ♥♥♥

So many sad thoughts. Oh, this song. ='(
Current Mood: sadOUCHIES
Current Music: Hear Me Out, Frou Frou
Helga Montana
12 February 2006 @ 10:37 pm
This is loads better than the Johari, because I get to know just how shitty a person you think I am.

Kinda. Haha.

Hell, even the page's colors are better.

Do me please, I'm down on my knees, unzipping your fly and begging ya.

I'll do anything to put off studying.
Current Mood: goodbegging =p
Current Music: My Own Sweet Time, Hanson
Helga Montana
25 January 2006 @ 04:21 am
Last week was horrid, in that nagging "I-don't-want-to-be-here" kind of way. It amazes me that I waited until Saturday night before finally giving in to the call of alcohol.

And Sunday.

Sunday was just to further prove that the Yana girls (or better yet, the anti-Rech protest =D) do it better.


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Aa asked me to take her out cos she is demented and thinks she looks funny in this photo. She DOES, but in a good and fun and cute kind of way!

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But. Sorry, boys. You got nothing on The Aa and The Helga.

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What is happening here!

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I make out with watermelons.

We really just wanted to watch Pacquaio beat the crap out of Morales from the comforts of a Fontana villa. Except most of us passed out before Round 10.

Saturday is seriously scaring me. A paper due for Diplomacy, a long exam in International and Globalized Economy, and then a report for International Relations. I hope I can make it to Terno. Two more weeks, two more weeks.
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Forever Young, Youth Group
Helga Montana
01 January 2006 @ 12:30 pm
It's bad when your dad starts oinking whenever he passes by the breakfast table and sees you shoving food down your mouth.


Happy 2006, kids. I spent the first few minutes of the new year under the shower and with a slight buzz. PERFECT. Wet and tipsy, that's the only way to say hi to 2006. =) No way was I going to jump up and down while screaming "YAAAAAAY!" at provincial fireworks, smelling like barbecue smoke with soot on my face and shirt.

And then I drank martini with my dad.

Wait. Let me stress that some more. AND THEN I DRANK MARTINI WITH MY DAD.


I have no idea what made him do it, considering he hasn't had alcohol in 13 years.

Last night's festivities ended a bit early. I was the last one up, hitting the sack a little past 3. And that's because there was this yummy Bernard Palanca-Rica Peralejo movie on PBO. Something by Erik Matti, Hanggang sa Huling Paghihintay? BJ Palanca is hothothot. Forget Jericho, give me BJ!

I'm still trying to decide which is the best Happy New Year! text message I received. Yes, kids, I'm a loser like that. Whenever I receive something funny and/or witty, I go around my relatives, brandishing my phone in front of their faces so I could share it with them.

I love ERIKA rainbowhead's the most:
Wag ka magsuot ng polka dots, barya yan, suot ka rectangle para tseke pero wag ka tatalon, baka tumalbog... nyurrrr, year 2006 na! Smile naman diyan.

Okay. I'm off to camp out somewhere so I could sneak in a post-brunch cigarette, before I start filling up my Canada papers, and then watch Bratz Rock Angels FOR.THE.THIRD.TIME.SINCE.YESTERDAY.

Don't get me started on how much weight I've gained. Happy New Year, everyone. RAWR!!! ♥
Current Mood: restlessrestless and fat
Current Music: So Good, Bratz Rock Angels